My arrival

Like every aspiring starlet know, it's all about the entrance......first impressions count and if you're serious about these things, as I am, you need to start with the biggest introduction of them all, your passage into the world. So I decided quite early on in the long months I spent in Mummy's tummy to give my parents a delivery they would never forget. Really, it's their own fault for leaving me to my own devices for so long in there.

I've got such an active Mummy, always running marathons and working crazy hours, so I knew that she would be bored kicking around the flat once she started her maternity leave. It really wouldn't be kind to make her spend her days relaxing and having long walks. Also she'd bought me such a lot of clothes and made my room look so nice, that it was just too tempting having them all around and not make an early appearance. So I decided that when I was nicely cooked, about 2 weeks prior to my actual date, to make my grand appearance, right on the day that my Mummy was due to finish work, so she could segue neatly from the demands of a high powered job to full time motherhood, without the need for any of that tedious waiting around. I am a very thoughtful daughter.

I also thought that as a Delivery Manager, my Mummy would have no truck with these long, interminable births, she's known for bringing it in 'on time, in full', so I thought I'd better make my appearance pretty sharpish! The only problem was, what with having no clocks in the womb and a pretty hazy notion of the passage of time, I may have been a little overzealous in my haste.

Anyway as, Daddy tells me, everything was pretty normal the night before my big beginning, there were a few signs that trouble was brewing, sure, but he and Mummy went out for a dinner together and Mummy even managed to go to an interview for a Science degree course she wants to do (told you she's an active Mummy!). They made plans for the next day, confident that I would not be making an appearance for quite some while. They would try to get an early night and Daddy would do a couple hours at work in the morning to tidy things up, before coming home mid-morning to spend the day looking after Mummy and take her to hospital in a calm and ordered fashion when required.

The next morning, Mummy had been feeling the contractions come on harder for a while and had had a pretty restless night, but was feeling well enough to usher Daddy out the door and settle down for a bath. She'd been told not to bother the hospital until the contractions were long and too painful to speak, but was sure she was nowhere near there yet.....no sissy, my Mummy. I like baths, and decided to give Mummy a break for a while from my downward progress, but once she was out, I decided that the faffing about had to stop and launched myself on a veritable sprint to the finish line. This was probably a mistake as Mummy was less prepared than I thought for the actual onset of labour, indeed the shocking realisation that things could actually be happening meant that she called Daddy and ordered him home - initiating a negotiation of the M25 and A41 at speeds which would put Aryton Senna to shame.

Mummy then decided to call the hospital to find out what she should do and whilst she on the phone, in order to ensure the clarification of any remaining doubt, I thoughtfully decided to break Mummy's waters. Which was, I believe, as much of a shock to her as the person she was on the call to. This I felt was a masterstroke and immediately brought on the calling of multiple ambulances, whose flashing lights and lovely sirens soon graced the entrance of our apartment block. I do like a big fuss!

A mere 35 mins after being called, (impressive if you know the journey) Daddy arrived home, to find 3 ambulances outside and at least 8 paramedics inside the flat. The way he tells it, once he'd sprinted up the block's four flights of stairs, there were two at the front door and he had to push past another three of them lining the corridor to get to the bedroom. In here, Mummy had assumed the typical 'giving birth' posture, on all fours, sucking in gas and air like there was no tomorrow and was surrounded my yet more paramedics and a midwife who had just arrived and took charge of the situation. She inspected Mummy to work out what to do next, the general assumption I believe, was that hospital was the next step, but Baby Bea doesn't do things by half and the midwife pronounced that I was too far along and we'd have to do the birth right there in the flat. Result!!

Cue then a frantic search by Daddy and the assembled flock of paramedics for an assorted group of items to turn our bedroom into a temporary labour ward. Bin bags, towels, baby clothes, a torch from Daddy's toolbox, fruit juice for Mummy's energy, more towels, bowls and an electric heater were all assembled in mere minutes. Daddy says it was like a treasure hunt, only much less fun.

Mummy meanwhile was concentrating on the giving me the best entrance a girl can get and for the next hour pushed against the contractions with all her might. I'll save you all the gory details, but suffice to say, her pilates classes paid off handsomely as at 10:28 I popped out to a great fanfare and a high level of excitement.

The next bit was great as I got to meet my Mummy and Daddy for the first time. The both seem absolutely delightful, but I find it a bit strange why Mummy looked so sweaty and wide eyed and Daddy so dazed and confused. I hope they don't stay like that for too long and are a bit more normal looking in the future. They both looked happy though, bless, and it was really nice to hear their voices and get my first kisses.

The next bit was a bit dull, all form filling and cups of tea, but I was weighed, which was fun, and given an injection, which was less so. I got to try out my lungs for the first time and had my first feed, so I guess it was actually pretty good in the round.

Suddenly, just like that, everyone left and I got to spend my first time with my new parents. It was pretty good but they seemed a little nervous around me. To be honest they appeared to not know what they were doing, I thought that they had been studying hard for this moment, had read all kinds of books and attended a lengthy NCT course, but apparently neither are particularly good students as they were all fingers and thumbs when they changed me and put on my nappy for the first time. They try hard though, so maybe they'll pick it up in time with a little instruction from yours truly.

Anyway that was the story of my birth, I think you'll agree it was, when all was said and done, a pretty good entrance after all!